No More Fear
by Rama Kay
Summary: After "betraying" Cerberus, she was imprisoned, then saved by the mighty Commander Shepard. What will happen to her? Especially with her strong ties to some members.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks for clicking! This is my first attempt at fanfiction. WAIT! Don't click exit just yet :) The first 3 Chapters are short and kinda messy, but it gets better eventually. And I have some nice surprises saved for you. I hope you read this and enjoy! **

**Special thanks to "The Red Celt" for betareading this.**

* * *

It was just another mission in another damned base. Cerberus was running some nasty experiments in here; what they were, James didn't know an it was probably better that way. The shuttle finally landed and he got out while Shepard told Steve to be careful and take care of himself, which made James smile. They soon entered the base; Cerberus commandos welcomed them with some heavy gunfire; they fought them hard along the way to the labs and just before they reached the main hall. Cortez tried to contact them. He was trying to tell them something but they couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Something's causing interference." Liara stated.

A few seconds later, they reached the main hall and as they entered, gunfire started raining on them. Liara quickly raised a biotic barrier while they all took cover. James took one look at the incoming horde of commandos and knew this fight wouldn't be an easy one , and he was right. Because soon, things started intensifying as more commandos arrived and began to flank them; Liara was injured and they were low on ammo .It was crazy; Cerberus must've been hiding an army in there, and what made things worse was that they weren't able to contact the Normandy. But suddenly, a few Commandos were flying in the air and after a few seconds, a shockwave followed by gun fire hit the troopers. Shepard and James looked at the source and, to their surprise, it was another Cerberus trooper making those attacks. That was odd, but whoever this soldier was, he turned the tables and soon the Commandos lay dead. Shepard quickly pointed her gun at the anonymous soldier.

"Who are you?" She demanded. The Cerberus Soldier threw his gun and took off his helmet, revealing a feminine face. he was a female. They examined her carefully. Her heart-shaped face was full of scars and one of her large blue eyes had an ugly purple around it. She looked somewhat tired and exhausted

"Name's Valerie". She said. "And who are you?"

"Alliance Na-" and before Shepard could finish, Valerie interrupted.

"Alliance Navy! What—how did you know about this place?" Valerie almost shouted, a grave look spread across her face.

"Alliance Intel. Are you with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.

Valerie snapped back. "No, I... used to be. They were trying to implant me with Reaper-tech… turn me into a mindless husk." She spat the last words in hatred and looked at their faces that were full of suspicion. "Look, you probably don't believe me, but I didn't have a choice. I wanted to leave, and that's why they brought me here." They felt that she was telling the truth; based on her injuries, it seemed she had taken one hell of a beating.

"Ok, but we'll have to work together if we want to get out of here alive." Shepard suggested."Now, we have to find a way to contact the Normandy."

Valerie's eyes widened. "The Normandy? Holy Hell?" she hissed. "You're Commander Shepard?" Shepard nodded

"Quick, we have to find a way out of here before more troops arrive." James cried.

They all entered a large door that led them to a lab and things remained peaceful . As soon as Shepard started downloading the data, Commandos hit the place again. James threw a frag grenade and killed the guardians but Liara couldn't do much because of her injured arm. Valarie was turning out to be a useful asset; she was a strong biotic, and she fought with them like she had been on the team for years. It was easy to cooperate with her. The troops were easily wiped out and after that, they found the jamming source and destroyed it. soon they were back in radio contact.

"Commander, is that you? Are you all right?" Steve's voice came through the comms

"We're fine, Lieutenant. But we still need the main lab's location"

"I've updated the Nav point."

"Thanks, Lieutenant."

With Steve's help, they found the last lab while he kept them up to date with the troops' movement. They finally got everything they wanted and started going back to the shuttle. Just as they reached the landing pad., a huge wave of troops flanked them. They killed many of them, but things started getting crazy once an Atlas arrived. Shepard overloaded its shields. Valerie launched a biotic reave on it and James took care of the other commandos behind it. They finally ran to the shuttle and jumped inside. Valerie seemed a little bit hesitant, but she jumped in behind them.

* * *

They finally reached the Normandy and got out of the shuttle. Valerie was feeling dizzy and exhausted; she had no idea how she managed to fight for so long without falling apart. It was a miracle. She was probably going to be interrogated and imprisoned, but she was still a human, not a husk.

"Meet me at the war room in 10." Shepard told her, her voice commanding, yet sympathetic. "Lieutenant Vega will escort you there."

"Alright." She replied with a nod.

The ten minutes passed quickly. Valarie followed James to the war room and she was fascinated by the interior design of the Normandy. They finally reached the room and saw Shepard sitting there waiting for them. Valerie entered and grabbed a seat.

"Here I am. What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Shepard explained. "What's your full name?"

"Valerie Swann… that was the last one. You won't find anything useful in my files."

"Ok. So, how did you join Cerberus?"

Valerie pinched the bridge of her nose. "I was raised in one of their bases." She Sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Eventually, I was forced to join them."

"You mentioned that they were going to… improve you. Is that why you fought against them?"

"I was always against them. I never agreed on their methods or the whole pro-humanity thing, especially when they started turning people into husks" Valerie's voice was filled with anger now, and Shepard tried to calm her.

"I understand. But why didn't you just leave?"

"It's not like I had a choice! And then I stayed and joined a group of scientists to provide Intel for the crucible project."

"Wait. You were the anonymous source? Why did you help the Alliance?"

"We could see that The Illusive man had gone too far. The Alliance is doing everything to end this war and he's doing his best to make things harder on everyone. I wanted to do some good. And helping them was the best choice."

"Just… how many of you are there?"

"A bunch" Valerie sighed. "I hope they're fine."

"That's a very noble thing to do" was all Shepard could say. There were few moments of silence before they spoke again. "I assume the Illusive Man found out about you?" Shepard asked.

"No, well, not all of us. I tried to cover for them. I hope I haven't failed them…" Silence filled the air again, and again Shepard broke it.

"You should go and see the Doctor. You look… uh… pale." Shepard said. Although Valerie didn't like it… she nodded; she wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like arguing. Shepard went with her to the Med-lab and on their way Valerie suddenly stopped looked straight into Shepard's eyes.

"What are you going to do with me?" she asked.

The fact was Shepard didn't really know. Valerie seemed like a good person, not a criminal. She might know some valuable things…. But the woman remained a mystery.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Special Thanks to "TheRedCelt" for being an awesome beta.**

* * *

"Are you sure, commander?" James asked Shepard. "I mean, she seems dangerous."

"I thought you like dangerous women." Shepard chuckled softly. "I understand your concerns, James. But we're almost at the Rachni relay. Going back to the citadel or near any station would be a huge waste of time. And then, EDI is watching all the time, you know."

"Alright…" James sighed. "Why aren't you taking me with you on this mission?"

"I have been taking you on every mission since Grissom. You need some rest." She answered, a disappointed look spread across James' face.

"You're the one who needs rest, Lola. You've been working so hard ever since we left earth."

The sound of the med-lab door drew their attention. They saw Dr. Chakwas coming towards them and holding a data pad in her hands.

"Where's Valerie?" Shepard asked curiously.

"She's asleep. I gave her a strong sedative." Chakwas explained.

"How's she doing?"

"Not really good… I believe that she was abused and tortured. I don't think she'll be doing so well…"

"She must've been through hell."Shepard said, James felt guilty for accusing her earlier. "Is there anything unusual about her?"

"No, she's a completely normal human being. There's no sign of any kind of tech in her."Chakwas said."Although… she has the L5 biotic amp, I'm not sure about their Stability."

"L5? That explains her impressive biotics." James stated.

"She really was fighting with you?" Chakwas said in disbelief. "I should add that to my report."

Joker's voice suddenly came through the comms, telling Shepard that they're about to reach Utukku . Shepard excused them.

"Take care, Lola." James said as she walked away.

"You too, James!"

* * *

James wanted to do something… anything to kill the time. He huffed as he checked his Omni-clock; why was the time moving so slowly? He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think of something to pass the time. That's when he remembered that he once had a mailbox… how long was it since he last checked it? At least not since he left earth. Although he never really got any interesting e-mails, it was far better than sitting around with nothing to do. He went to one of the terminals and started checking his inbox

"Junk… junk… not interesting… N7 commendation?"He muttered under his breath as he started reading that strange mail. That was utterly odd. Why on earth would anyone want to make him a N7 recruit? Especially after his big failure on Fehl… bad memories started creeping in again. He could hear the screams and see the faces of people he let down. He shook his head desperately and decided that Shepard's idea of having some rest was great. He could think about all of that once he'd had some sleep. He went to the med-lab to have something that would help him sleep quickly and quietly for some time. He entered and looked for Dr. Chakwas who apparently wasn't there… well, that was unexpected. He opened a drawer and immediately found some pills. He took a couple and poured himself a glass of water. He was on his way out when he heard some soft moaning. He looked back and found out that it was coming from Valerie… he totally forgot she was there. He moved closer and glared at her, it seemed she was having a nightmare. He shook her calmly; she bounced, gasping for breath. He gave her the glass he intended to drink.

"Are you alright?" he asked her gently, staring at her terror-filled blue eyes.

"I'm fine. Thanks" she replied as Dr. Chakwas entered the lab.

"You're awake? She asked. They replied with a nod.

"She was having a nightmare, I woke her up." James explained.

"Ok, take these." Dr. Chakwas handed her something. "Eat those energy bars. You need them."

"I'm fine, I don't really–"

"Yes, you do¬. Do you want to starve yourself to death?"

"Maybe…" she said, a glimpse of pain filling her eyes."May I use the restroom?"¬¬ She was clearly trying to change the subject.

"I'll show you the way." James offered.

"But please eat, for your sake." Dr. Chakwas said, and Valerie replied with a nod.

She followed James to the restroom and thanked him politely as she entered. After that,  
She washed her battered face and stared deeply at her reflection on the mirror. She ran her hand over the scars across her face and closed her eyes; she could feel the sharp knife running on her skin. She expected to have some scars but not that many… damn, she looked Awful. She finally got out and saw that James was still there. As they started walking back, Valerie unwrapped the bar and took a bite. She quickly started coughing.

"My God! That's awful!" She said in disgust.

"You look like someone eating crap." James grinned.

"It's worse." She chuckled. "How the hell am I supposed to finish all that?"

"I would've told you to throw them away, but… you heard the Doc." James wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say.

"Whatever… I've eaten worse things." They continued walking back until they reached the lab. "Thanks….?" She said as if she was trying to recall his name.

"Just call me James."

"Ok, James." She smiled to him as she entered. James just stood there watching, He was slightly struck by her. She didn't seem as evil as he thought. In fact, she seemed really nice… and hot... and— he shook his head. What the hell is wrong with him? Shepard was totally right… he needs some rest. He went to his bunk. Pushing any thought away from his mind.

* * *

They were almost at the Citadel now. Valerie was standing next to the airlock; Shepard told her that she would be fine once they reached the Citadel. The commander and her crew were really nice to her and she enjoyed their hospitality. It was a nice experience for a change. The pilot's curse derailed her train of thoughts; He seemed to be having some trouble. Shepard came to stand behind the Pilot's chair with an upset look on her face

"What the hell is going on?" he said impatiently. "Even if there were station malfunction they'd have backups online… I have a bad feeling here." He pressed few buttons and finally, he got a response. "Commander, There's a communication from Thane" He turned his head to Shepard

"Put him through." she commanded.

"Shepard, the Citadel is under attack! and Cerberus troops are in control of the docks" Thane's voice came through the Comm.

"What? Are you safe?" she asked in surprise.

"No, I had to evade commandos at the hospital. I'm in a presidium storefront"

"Did Kaidan make it out?" She asked, concern filling her voice.

"We got separated; he said he had to protect the Council. I'm going to C-Sec headquarters." C-sec HQ. That's a good plan. Shepard thought

"Alright. Joker- get us away from the docks and close to C-Sec HQ. We'll deploy in the shuttle" Shepard told Joker as she started to walk away.

"What's wrong, commander? What happened?" Valerie quickly asked.

"Cerberus attacked the Citadel. You should stay here until we—"

"What? No, I'm not staying!" Valerie interrupted. "The least I could do is help you."

"It's dangerous out there."

"Come on, Commander. I breathe danger?. Also, an extra hand won't hurt." Shepard looked into her eyes that were full of determination.

"Ok, then. I think we have some extra armor. You can use one of them. Now, follow me." Shepard said. A wide smile filled Valerie's face.

"You're not going to regret this."  
They reached the shuttle bay. Shepard gave Valerie a suit of standard Alliance armor, which she donned quickly. She was thankful for the helmet because the last thing she wanted was being seen. It would make her life much harder than it already was. When they finally entered the shuttle, both James and Garrus looked surprised to see Valerie with the commander.

"She's coming with us." Shepard said and they both shook their head in affirmative.  
The shuttle started moving out, and everybody was nervous but acted calmly. They had to save the citadel.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is going to be the last time I fully describe a mission. It's just that there are some important things in there and are going to be reveled later. **

* * *

'So, that's the Citadel.' Valerie thought as the shuttle flew smoothly through the Presidium. Fire was blazing all over the place, and smoke filled the air. The shuttle entered the HQ that was overwhelmed by Cerberus troops. They were fighting hard, and the odds seemed to be in their favor. That quickly changed once Shepard and her squad interfered. The Commandos were quickly eliminated, and Shepard ran to a person who was bleeding on the ground.

"Bailey. What are you doing here?" She asked as she applied medi-gel to his wounds.

"Getting my ass shot off trying to retake the headquarters. Cerberus took it in the first push." He replied breathlessly. "We've got to kick them out of there. Everyone in C-Sec is running blind without the network."

"How bad is the situation? Do you know if the councilors are still alive?" The turian, Garrus, asked.

"They split up. I'll know more once I can access a terminal inside." Bailey said as he got up. He opened the door and they all entered a big room, locking the doors behind them. Luckily, no Commandos were there. Bailey started working on the terminal. "I got a warning from Councilor Valern. He's supposed to be here, meeting with the Executor." Bailey turned his gaze to Shepard. "Be on guard. The likelihood of betrayal from within is high. Not a lot else from the councilor. But if he's inside…"

"The Councilor could be in the Executor's office. It's a fairly defensible position." Garrus said.

"I'm on it." Shepard exclaimed.

"Just a sec..." Bailey pressed a few buttons. "There. Now we can talk by omni-tool. Go!"

They walked through C-Sec HQ. It looked pretty messed up. Water was all over the place, holes in the walls and dead bodies lying on the floor. There were many Commandos as well. Shepard and her team fought and killed them easily.

After that, they walked through long corridors that were also full of dead C-Sec Operatives. Garrus ran to one of the bodies and shook it slightly. "Ridgefield?" he called out. He moved to another body and shook it as well. "Lamont? You alive?" The guy spat blood as he passed away. A sharp keen came from Garrus.

"I'm sorry, Garrus. They'll pay for this, I promise," Shepard assured him, while James patted his arm.

"They will." Garrus said, his mandibles twitching in anger.

They continued walking; they were close to the Executor's office now. They caught two troopers off guard, and killed them. A stairwell was the only thing standing between them and the office, but Commandos quickly came and started shooting.

"Not really surprising," Valerie muttered to herself, "nothing ever comes so easily."

A drone from here, biotic attack from there, and the fight ended. They quickly entered the Executor's office, which was a complete mess like the rest of the station. The Executor was apparently dead, as well as other salarian bodyguards. No sign of the Salarian Councilor so far…

"If you don't see the councilor's body, don't count him out yet." Bailey told them over the comm.

Valerie stared through the large window pane looking for any signs. Shepard stood next to her. One of the chairs down in the hall moved and they saw a salarian crawling out from under the table.

"Found him." Shepard told Bailey, "He looks unharmed."

Valerie turned and went to the stairs when she heard the sound of a gunshot and shattering glass, and immediately ran towards it along with James and Garrus. They saw Shepard pointing a gun at a man with swords. The world around Valerie darkened as she stood there… frozen, shocked, breathless… 'Not him, please not him,' she thought.

Kai Leng's presence intimidated her. She moved her hand to her face, and was thankful that she was wearing a helmet so he wouldn't know that it was her… She realized that Garrus and James were down there with Shepard, and she was still up here. She mustered all of her courage and went down.

Once she reached them, she saw Kai Leng fighting a drell. She wanted to shoot him so badly, but couldn't risk the drell's life. After a few minutes of hard fighting, Kai stabbed the drell, and quickly ran away.

"Thane?" Shepard shouted and ran towards him. Kai ran away quickly and they all followed him, though Garrus stayed to help the drell. Kai was so fast; he raised a barrier and blocked the bullets that were coming his way. He finally reached an open area then jumped into a skycar.

"Damn!" Shepard cursed as she fired at the skycar helplessly as it flew away.

* * *

James sat next to Shepard as she started driving the small skycar. Knowing that the human Councilor was in bed with Cerberus was a surprise to him. El tramposo.

Shepard had not looked surprised, though. Udina's always been a power-hungry Bastard, she'd told him.

He stared at her; she seemed her usual calm self but James knew better. They were closer now and he could see through the mask she wore.

"That was Kai Leng. One of the Illusive Man's most trusted assassins." Valerie informed them. James tilted his head and looked at her curiously. The others mirrored him as well.

"You know him?" James asked.

"Sure." She said, her expression dark and unreadable.

"What can you tell us about him?" Shepard asked.

"He has reaper-tech implants in him; he's stronger and faster than a normal human being…" Valerie rubbed the back of her neck. "He's very talented, completely ruthless, and he also used be an N7."

James turned to her in surprise. That guy had been an N7? He couldn't help and be slightly .impressed.

Shepard had a deep scowl on her forehead. "N7? Admiral Anderson and Hackett must know something about him then."

"I've got a fix on the Council's position," Bailey interrupted from Shepard's omni-tool. "I'm sending it to your car."

Just as he finished speaking, the assassin, Kai Leng, landed on top of the car.

Shepard started shooting at him, but he easily dodged the bullets. She opened the car's door and shot over the roof, apparently expecting James to grab the steering wheel. He scrambled to get the thing under control, cursing Shepard and her loco driving.

Kai Leng had raised another barrier and slammed his sword into the engine. The skycar tilted downwards as James helped Shepard back into the car and they tried desperately to maintain control of it. The assassin quickly jumped to another car and moved away, while their car started going down fast. They finally crashed more than landed on the Presidium. It was pure luck that they hadn't fallen into the lake, James thought. Loco!

They ran heading towards Shalman Plaza, where, according to Commander Bailey, a shuttle was waiting for the Council. They fought troopers, guardians, nemesises and some new scary units that moved like ninjas and carried swords. They were called 'Phantoms', Valerie told them. James had about enough of them.

There were also many, many dead civilians, and nothing enraged James more than dead civilians. 'Those cabrones are going to pay.' He thought to himself.

They ran fast but Cerberus sealed the only door leading to Shalman Plaza. They had to go through one of the tunnels, and as they got out, an Atlas welcomed them with some heavy fire. They slid into cover and fought hard. Bailey told them that the Councilors were in the elevator. They took out the last of the Commandos and rushed towards the elevator, but they were too late. Kai Leng was in it, and he smiled mischievously as the doors slid shut.

James and Garrus forced the other elevator's door open and they all jumped on top of another elevator. James stumbled a little as it started going up. Once they saw the bottom of Kai's elevator, they shot the power conduits and James laughed in glee as he saw it going down. Kai tried using other elevators to reach the Councilors before them, but his attempts failed, thanks to Bailey. By the time he was able to override Bailey's control, they were far ahead of him.

They reached the council's elevator and jumped on top of it. Someone fired on them, but they easily dodged the bullets. James heard someone telling the Councilors to run as Shepard entered the hatch and ran ahead of them, and they followed her quickly. The scared Councilors stood in front of a burned shuttle and James recognized Major Alenko, who raised his gun.

"Shepard? What's going on?" He asked in surprise. Shepard opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Udina.

"Shepard's blocking our escape! She's with Cerberus!" He claimed.

"I can explain this, Kaidan." Shepard said.

"Come on, Shepard. Gun drawn on a Councilor… kind of looks bad." Kaidan said as she lowered her gun and motioned to the others to do so as well.

"We don't have time to negotiate. You've been fooled, all of you. Udina's behind this attack. The salarian councilor confirmed it." Shepard called out.

"Please." Udina said with a sarcastic grin. "You have no proof. You never do."

James wanted to punch the confident smile off his face.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4: Scars

It was over.

The Citadel was saved, the traitor human Councilor was dead and The Illusive Man had to suffer a major loss. He probably was in a really bad mood now. Valerie felt the scars on her face stretch into a smile at that thought.

Valerie was waiting for Shepard outside of Commander Bailey's office. She didn't know what was going to happen to her now that the Citadel was saved. She could only hope… although her brightest hopes were still very dark. Thoughts and plans for the next phase of her life were already forming in her head, when the noise from the door caught her attention. She saw Shepard coming out with a sad look on her face.

"So…" Shepard said. "What are you going to do now?"

"Hell if I know…" Valerie sighed in despair. "I guess I'm getting out of here ASAP. Go somewhere safe, and…" Her voice trailed off, she really didn't know what to do.

"You have no place to go?" Shepard asked.

"No, most - actually, all the people I know are Cerberus. Even if some are willing to help, I can't endanger them." Valerie pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm on my own."

"I see…" Shepard paused for a few seconds, eying Valerie carefully. She finally cleared her throat and spoke, "How about you join me on the Normandy?"

Valerie's eyes widened in astonishment. "What?"

"I'm recruiting you for the Normandy… what do you say?" Shepard smiled at her.

Valerie was struck speechless. She began doubting her sanity; joining the famous Commander Shepard in the fight against the Reapers… and Cerberus? She truly had to be hallucinating…. but she wasn't. It was all true. She may have some luck after all… Shepard's cough made her snap back to reality. She realized she'd been silent for quite a long time.

"I…" Valerie cleared her throat, allowing herself to feel hope. "I don't know what to say, Commander. I… I'm honored."

"If you need anything let me know. In the meantime, go to docking bay D24 and check in with EDI. She'll help you out."

"Thank you so much, Commander." She said as her lips curved into a smile. She hadn't felt this happy in years.

* * *

Earlier that day...

Shepard sat on the comfortable sofa in her cabin, drinking her usual morning tea. She was trying to think of a way to convince the Salarians to aid her in the war. Dealing with politicians was SO frustrating and she wasn't really looking forward to meeting them. The thought simply gave her a headache.

Another matter jumped into her mind - Valerie. She already thought about her last night but she was still surprised by her age; she was far younger than Shepard had expected. And she wondered if she'd be safe on her own from Cerberus. Miranda had told her how Cerberus was trying their best to kill her and they would try the same thing to Valerie for sure. Shepard also doubted that Valerie had the same resources Miranda possessed...

Shepard took another sip as she rubbed the back of her neck. Valerie reminded her so much of Jack. Well, not the "half-naked psycho" part. They both were very powerful biotics and they also were victims of The Illusive Man's evil "pro-humanity" plans.

Flashbacks from the Teltin facility on Pragia hit her and she felt anger boiling in her veins. No one should ever go through that, no one. She took a deep breath to calm herself. She really wanted to help Valerie. The girl wouldn't be much of help with the Crucible since she wasn't a scientist or a hacker. And she would be undervalued as another security guard for Admiral Hackett.

Another idea came to Shepard. Valerie could become a really good addition to the Normandy's crew, especially since she only had James and Garrus as her heavy combat team. Liara was busy most of the time with her Shadow-Broker research and EDI wasn't a professional soldier with heavy training. Also, Shepard needed another biotic on the ship. The idea seemed really appealing, but she wasn't going to do anything about it until she checked few things to make sure she was making the right decision.

"Commander, we're reaching the Citadel in 10." Joker told her through the comm.

"On my way." Shepard said as she got up, preparing herself to go.

* * *

Valerie placed her things in the locker- her locker. She started combing her thick hair that was still wet from the steamy shower she's just taken. She heard the sound of the door opening and tilted her head to see Shepard entering the room.

"How are you doing?" Shepard asked in a friendly way.

"I'm good, really good. Thanks" Valerie paused and cleared her throat before she spoke again. "I was wondering if there's anything I could help with. I just hate sitting around with nothing to do."

"Sure," Shepard responded. "Like what?"

"Modding... I also know a little bit about fixing shuttles"

"Hmm, you should go to Deck 5 and talk to Lt. Vega and Cortez."

Valerie thanked Shepard politely and took the elevator down to Deck 5. The door slid open and she stepped out. She surveyed the place until she saw James coming her way.

"Hey, I heard you're going to stick around for a while." James grinned at her.

"You can say that." She said. "Commander Shepard told me I could help with modding things."

"Really? Okay, follow me." James told her as she followed him to his work bench. An M-98 Widow was lying on top of it, and she ran her hand over it, humming in appreciation.

James tilted his head to her with a raised eyebrow. "So, I take it you like weapons."

"I love them." She responded.

"That's cool." James took the gun and handed it to her. "Maybe you could help me? This one keeps overheating."

Valerie flipped the weapon in her hands for a few seconds until she nodded. "Yeah, I believe I could."

"Be warned, this is Shepard's favorite sniper rifle." James chuckled.

Valerie smirked as she started working. James watched carefully as her hands worked their magic on the gun. It wasn't long until she finally put it down and claimed that she was finished. James raised an eyebrow at her.

"That was fast." He muttered while Valerie chuckled.

James was really friendly, which made her feel a little bit nervous and awkward. It was probably just his way of treating people, so she didn't mind. She noticed a man coming towards them.

"James, did you see my drill?" The man said. "Oh, sorry.." He turned his head to Valerie after realizing he hadn't seen her.

"Esteban, meet Valerie." James introduced them. "Valerie, Esteban."

"Hello, Esteban." Valerie extended a hand to him.

"Actually it's Lieutenant Steve Cortez." Steve shook her hand as he shot James a dirty look. "James just likes to call me that."

"What? It IS better than your real name!" James exclaimed then shrugged. "Whatever... your drill is over there..."

Cortez ignored James as he continued to talk with Valerie. "The Commander told us you're going to stay here." He smiled gently. "Welcome to the Normandy."

She hoped that she wasn't blushing. She murmured a thank you as she smiled and nodded. It still felt awkward, how they welcomed her.

She could see the mistrust in the eyes of some people but she couldn't blame them. She was Cerberus. She couldn't change that fact no matter what.

* * *

Later that night...

James sighed as he finished his plate and got up. He felt slightly angry when he had learned that Shepard wasn't taking him on the next mission to Eden Prime. He tried convincing himself that this was going to happen a lot, now that their team had gotten bigger with Major Alenko and Valerie.

He got up and went back to the crew quarter to lie on his bunk, trying to sleep, but the N7 offer kept haunting his thoughts and it was becoming more aggravating with each passing moment. He wanted it; it had been his dream ever since he was a child. On the other hand, he didn't feel like he deserved it. Not after he screwed things up on Fehl.

He needed advice from someone, and the perfect person would have been his uncle Emilio. He wished he could call him to ask for help; unfortunately, all communications to earth were cut off, and there was no way of contacting him. A part of James knew that his uncle would tell him to go for it. It's wishful thinking, James thought. He really wanted to stop torturing himself with this. He decided to go to the Normandy's gym to work out, his way of relieving stress.

He reached the gym and started to lift weights. If he couldn't contact his uncle, he had to ask someone else about it, and the only other person James could think of was Shepard. Sure, why not? She was an N7 and a good friend. He trusted her with his life. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and started wondering why on earth he never thought about that before. He quickly used his omni-tool and typed a short message to Shepard, hoping she would have the time to read it. He felt more relieved and started to like the idea even more.

* * *

Next morning..

James went to the mess, still sleepy thanks to the intermittent sleeping last night. The unusual silence in the mess hall told him that it was still early. 'Everyone must be asleep,' he thought as he checked the clock.

"Good morning." A soft voice grabbed his attention, he turned to see Valerie leaning on the wall.

"Morning to you too. Do you want some coffee?" He asked.

"Sure."

Valerie sat down while James went to make coffee. Her gaze was turned to her reflection in the window to the med-bay. Seeing herself like that still hurt. It made the memories, the bad memories flood back...

She is gasping; Breathing is so hard. She opens her eyes and groans; her body is aching in pain and she is squeezing her eyes shut again. Hot breath tickles her ear. "You're already out?" He whispers and she can hear him grin. "I haven't even started yet." His mocking laugh is so venomous that it makes her even sicker than she already is. "Why don't you cry for me some more?" His voice makes her skin crawl. She tries to speak but only moans come out of her dry throat...

"Valerie.. Val?" She stared at James worried eyes as she snapped back to reality. The evil laugh still echoing in her mind.

"Sorry.." She mumbled as she took the hot mug from him with her shaky hands, and thanked him.

"Seems like so much is on your mind." James said with worry in his voice.

"There's nothing, really.." She chuckled grimly. "I guess I'm still not used to my new look. That's all."

"Your new look?" James raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I didn't have these scars before..."

"Oh... I'm sorry.." James said. "They don't look so bad. Make you look like a badass." James turned away to study his feet, "Sorry, I didn't want to..."

"It's okay, really," she said, allowing the pain to show on her face for a moment before she blocked the emotions behind a mask of ice.

"At least you're not trying to starve yourself anymore." James said. "Maybe I can make you my famous rancho huevos one day."

"Your what?" She asked.

"My abuela has taught me cooking and I can make you some mean huevos that you won't forget soon!" He seemed to be really proud of this ability and it warmed Valerie's heart.

She felt a smile creep on her face that surprised her. "Yes, I'd like that."

"So, did you see the new mods?" James asked excitedly, obviously trying to change the subject.

"New mods? Seriously?" She grinned, mirroring his excitement.

* * *

2 days later...

Things were quite crazy on the Normandy. After returning from Eden Prime, Shepard had brought a Prothean with her. A real living prothean! And now they were going to meet the quarians. Valerie had known that she would be working with aliens but she never expected it to be this way.

They were friendly and kind, unlike the mercenaries she sometimes had to blend in with or the targets she had had to kill. She was also becoming friends with James and Steve, since she was spending most of her time in the shuttle bay with them.

"Oh Come on!" Steve's voice rang in her ears as she stepped out of the elevator. "The M44 Hammerhead is vastly superior!"

"Please, that thing is made of tissue paper." James said with a bit of disgust. "At least the Mako can take a few hits."

"I'd hope so! That thing handles like a drunken rhino. No agility whatsoever!" Steve noticed Valerie walking toward them. "Hey, Val. You with him or me?"

She chuckled as she approached them. "What are you talking about?"

"Esteban is saying that the M44 Hammerhead is better than the M35 Mako!" James exclaimed.

"Of course the M44 Hammerhead is better! Did.. did you see how fast it is?" Valerie raised her eyebrow at James

"Yeah. It's agile, smooth..." Cortez said while James facepalmed and shook his head in disbelief.

"Speed junkies," he muttered as Valerie and Esteban kept on doting how fast and awesome it was. "I'll never understand that."

James omni-tool chimed and Shepard's voice sounded out. "James.. I have time if you wanted to talk."

"On my way," He replied and walked to the elevator. Valerie followed him with her eyes, he looked nervous and she had never seen James get nervous about anything.

She shook her head. Why did it interest her if James was nervous or not?

**Special thanks to "The Red Celt" and "Barbex" for being such an awesome betas!**


	5. Chapter 5: Aliens

**Huge hugs to Barbex for being a wonderfully amazing beta!**

* * *

The Normandy's next stop was somewhere in the Far Rim. The Commander needed to speak to the quarian admirals, who were finally willing to help with the war.

After the admirals boarded the ship, they disappeared into the war room with Shepard. When they finished the meeting, one of them, a female who wore a lilac colored suit, was touring the ship with Shepard. Everybody seemed to know her, and she appeared to be a close friend of Shepard's.

"My name is Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." She introduced herself, extending a hand to Valerie, who was amazed at how the quarian knew of this human tradition. Perhaps it wasn't just a human thing after all. "Just call me Tali."

"Alright, Tali." Valerie shook her hand. "It's a pleasure. I'm Valerie."

"There are many new faces here. The Alliance had stationed you here too?" Tali asked.

Valerie rubbed the back of her neck, "er...not really."_ 'please don't go down that path.'_

"Oh?" Tali placed a hand on her waist.

Valerie could swear the quarian was raising her eyebrow under the mask... assuming quarians had eyebrows, of course. "Well... I was with Cerberus - "

"Cerberus!?" Tali exclaimed, interrupting her speech.

Valerie frowned, glad she couldn't see the disgust in Tali's face. She expected the quarian to turn and leave, or say something rude...

... but she didn't. Instead, Tali coughed and spoke again in her accented tone, "I'm sorry to interrupt. That was just kind of surprising. Please, keep going."

Valerie blinked several times. _'she doesn't turn away?' _  
She cleared her throat as she spoke again, telling Tali the short version of how she ended up on the Normandy.

To her surprise, talking to Tali was much easier than she had expected! Valerie found herself comfortable after just a few minutes. Their little chat turned into a deep conversation as Valerie began to ask why Tali had "Normandy" in her name, and she ended up learning more about quarian traditions. It was fascinating!

"Wow, Tali. Thank you so much. That was really insightful. Not exactly how I imagined quarians to be, but it's still very interesting."

Tali chuckled, "And how did you expect quarians to be?"

Valerie dropped her head down, shame sweeping through her. "Well... Cerberus spoke poorly of everyone that isn't human..."

"Cerberus... those racist _bosh'tets._ I see what you mean." Tali said, surprising Valerie again.

She still wanted to defend herself, though. She wasn't like that anymore. "Yeah, I know. But that was long ago and I don't think like them anymore. I have eyes to see and my own mind to think."

"You don't seem like a racist person, Valerie. You're very nice."

"I'm glad you think so." Valerie grinned. She certainly liked Tali, and was looking forward to working with her.

Soon after Tali left,. Shepard called for a conference. Valerie was excited, this was going to be her first official mission on the Normandy. She wanted to make a good impression and show her real abilities, especially since she had not been doing her best during the coup on the Citadel due to her injuries. She wanted to show Shepard what she really was capable of.

* * *

The mission was irksome. They got in a big geth dreadnought to destroy the reapers-code source, which, according to Shepard's explanation, was the key to stop the war between the quarians and the geth.

But the supposedly abandoned dreadnought had many, many geth in it. They just came out of every corner and the team soon had seen enough of those synthetics to last a lifetime. After a tiring run through the dreadnaught, they met another geth who appeared to be a friend of Shepard. The Commander certainly had the weirdest friends in the Galaxy.

They released the geth from the dreadnaught's system and stopped the transmission of the reaper-code that way. The geth were now crippled in their defences and instead of retreating, the quarians did the most stupid thing by attacking the dreadnought, while the team was still on board. Shepard was not amused. Luckily, they managed to escape thanks to Shepard's geth friend, Legion.

After reaching the Normandy safely, everybody was exhausted and tired. Shepard went to have a little "talk" with the admirals while the rest of them rested for a bit, before doing their casual jobs around the Normandy. For both Valerie and James, they had to sort all of the new weapons and mods the quarians gave them, or those salvaged from the geth ships.

They worked quietly, it wasn't until they were halfway through that James started talking  
"So…" He started awkwardly, cutting the silence, "What do you think about what happened earlier with the quarians?"

Valerie took a quick glance at James, then continued working. "It was dumb, really, really dumb. We're their allies, they're supposed to have our backs, not shoot at us." She said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice. "Yet, we still have to work with them. I certainly don't envy Shepard."

"Couldn't agree more." James shrugged, then cast his gaze upwards, as if he was remembering something. "Although… it makes me wonder; Wouldn't we be also that desperate and do the same if we lost earth?"

Valerie stopped for a second as she considered James' question. "I would hope not but… who knows?"

James chuckled grimly, "Yeah, I guess you're right… I think I'm just missing Earth."

She shrugged. "I don't know…"

James looked at her curiously. "You don't know what?"

"Er… I've never been to Earth." _I never felt that sense of home,_ she added to herself.

"Well, that's a shame. Where are you from?"

Leaning her back against the wall, a deep sigh escaped her throat. "I have no idea. Some remote colony I guess… until Cerberus took and raised me."

James' eyes widened at the news, "Cerberus took you and raised you?"

Pouting her lips, she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. How come he didn't know that? She thought everybody knew for some reason. "Yeah. You didn't know?"

"Shepard didn't tell us many things about you," He admitted.

Valerie nodded her head then gazed down again, avoiding eye contact.

"That's… awful. I'm sorry to hear that." James said.

She had been nothing but a 6 years old child when she had been taken. She couldn't remember anything about her life before that. Her only memories were of shadowy figures that felt like a family to her, but the memories were so dark and vague that she doubted how real they were. She sometimes wondered how it would feel to have a family but didn't really dwell on the thought.

She cleared her dry throat as she looked up to James again, one of his fingers was stroking his bottom lip as he eyed her. His expression was unreadable, which made her wonder what was on his mind. "So, what about you?" She finally said after long moments of silence. "Where are you from?"

"San Diego."

"I've heard a lot about this city - they say it's beautiful." Valerie smiled at him, a genuine smile.

James chuckled, "Yeah, I wonder how it looks right now though, with the war and Reapers." He sighed deeply.

Valerie thought with a chill that it was probably nothing but ruins now. "They'll rebuild. I'm sure."  
She moved towards him and put a hand on his shoulder, offering him comfort. Suddenly she felt awkward and jerked her hand away.

She had just touched the man! And it had felt nice? But he didn't look bothered by it which made her feel better. She made a mental note to watch her actions better.

"I hope you're right… I really do." James murmured, turning back to the gun in front of him.

* * *

The next two days passed quickly as the team was running from one mission to another, barely having any time to relax. But they were finally ready for the final push to Rannoch, the quarian homeworld. The team gathered in the war room, to discuss the strategies for the upcoming big battle.

"Garrus, Vega, Tali and Alenko are coming with me. Legion will be hacking the doors and guiding us." Shepard set her fists on the table, wearing her all-business mask, "EDI, keep us updated on any new development while we're down there. Liara, I trust you to keep an eye on the admirals…"

The Commander took a breath, "Valerie and Javik, you both have the day off."

Valerie felt disappointed, but she had been going on pretty much every mission since the geth dreadnought, so it was fair.

"Also," Shepard said, directing her speech to Valerie. "I want to speak to you about something once this session is over."

Valerie nodded her affirmative, although she got an unsettling feeling. _What could the commander possibly want to talk about?_

Luckily, the session didn't take so long as they quickly came up with a solid plan. After everybody started going away, Valerie approached Shepard with a concerned look. Hundreds of thoughts played in her head at the same time.

Shepard motioned the woman to come walk beside her as they left the room. The smile on the Commander's face told Valerie that she was probably worrying a bit too much.

"We haven't really had the chance to talk ever since you joined the Normandy. How are you doing?" Shepard asked.

Valerie suspected this was more than just a friendly talk. She felt her heart racing,_ What's wrong? What have I done? What's going to happen?_

"Fine, thank you. The crew has been really nice to me and…" Valerie paused for a second, trying to piece her words together. "No words can describe my gratitude. Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity"

"Of course, Valerie. You're an asset to the team." Shepard grinned, then pinched her nose, "I wanted to know more about the group you had been working with. You said that there was a possibility that they're on the run now. Do you have any idea where they might be?"

Valerie bit her lips and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I wish I had a clue… There were plans of escaping in case The Illusive Man found out but I don't recall seeing any names of planets or bases or even systems. But…" She sighed at a sudden realization. Concern filled her voice as she spoke again, "They were supposed to contact the Alliance once they escaped… "

Shepard frowned, "Hmm, we've been trying to locate them for some time, but we found nothing. And nobody contacted the Alliance… Do you think they survived?"

"I kept covering for them for a really long time. They didn't get anything out of me." Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, "But when I was tossed in that base… I assumed they either escaped, or were captured. I certainly wish the former but..." She trailed off.

"How did they capture you?" Shepard asked, looking at her from the side.

Valerie took a deep breath. This wasn't exactly her favorite topics. She had been caught completely off guard that day. It was supposed to be a normal morning. Next thing she knew, she was on the floor, electrocuted and gasping for breath.

The memories sent shivers through her body. Her hand involuntary moved to her face, tracing the scars on her nose and cheeks, her eyes wide open but unseeing. She shook her head trying to lock the memories back in their small corner of her mind. This wasn't an ideal time to break down and cry – not that she ever cried. She would just curl into a ball and keep abusing herself mentally until she was numb and couldn't feel a thing.

A hand suddenly patted her shoulder, cutting her thoughts. She looked up at the Commander who was smiling at her.  
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I understand."

Valerie smiled in appreciation for Shepard's understanding. She certainly wasn't ready to talk about this, not yet.

"You know what? There's a machine that heals scars permanently in the med-lab. In case you're interested…"

Valerie looked at Shepard with wide-eyes, "It'll heal them with no traces remaining?"

"Yes," Shepard pointed at her face, "Look at me, do I have any?"

Shepard didn't really have any scars, her face was smooth.

Narrowing her eyes, Valerie said, "I didn't think that was possible."

"It's not exactly common tech." Shepard shrugged, "so.. what do you say?

Valerie's expression suddenly changed. "I think this is great!" she exclaimed, "Thank you, Commander. I'm forever in your debt."

"Don't worry about it, Val. You're a part of the team now. The equipment in the med-bay is for everyone."

Val closed her eyes and smiled again, she had no idea what she'd done to deserve all of this. "Thank you, really."

* * *

Valerie spent the next hour going back and forth in front of the med-lab. She knew what she wanted, why was this so hard? Her scars symbolized her pain, repression, and humiliation. Losing the scars wasn't going to change the way she looked at herself, but at least she wouldn't feel disgusted every time she looked in the mirror… or would she?

After a few battles within herself, she finally entered the lab. Dr. Chakwas was sitting in her chair, and she turned to face Valerie, greeting her warmly.  
"Shepard told me to expect you."

"Oh, yeah…" She didn't know if she should feel relieved or nervous.

"I'll start the surgery in a minute, but first, I need to run a few check-ups to see how you're doing."

"Is that necessary?" Valerie asked, then regretting it, after the doctor shot her one of those scary looks.

"Well, you haven't seen in what kind of terrible condition you were in, when you arrived." Dr. Chakwas looked like the memory was almost painful to her. "Your condition improved a lot in the first two days but I still need to make sure, especially with those implants of yours."

Valerie sighed and sat on the bed. Her thoughts drifting back to that day, but again, she locked them in a small corner in her mind.

The checkup didn't take as long as she expected, and Dr. Chakwas' smile told her that the results were very good. She moved and sat under what she supposed was the scar-healing machine.

After a while, the surgery was done. Valerie's face burned slightly because of it, and turned blood red. The world around her was shaking and she felt like throwing up.

"Congratulations! Now, the redness won't disappear until a few hours have passed. But the results will be great." Dr. Chakwas said as she helped Valerie up. Her tone was positive enough to make Valerie believe that everything was going to be alright.

"How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy," Valerie placed a hand on her forehead as she tried to gather herself.

"You should go take some rest now." Dr. Chakwas handed her an ointment to apply and led her out of the med-bay.

Valerie dragged herself to the crew quarters and fell into her bunk.

* * *

**Next day… After the battle for Rannoch.**

The ride from the shuttle back towards the Normandy didn't take long. James couldn't sit still, he was so full of excitement. All of that fighting, adrenaline still buzzing inside of him… They had achieved the ultimate victory today by killing that Reaper.

As they got out of the shuttle, part of the crew was waiting for them in the bay cheering for them. And why wouldn't they? They had killed a Reaper! A _big damned Reaper!_

James first went to the other side of the room, he wanted to take off his armor. After he was done, he walked proudly towards the others with a big grin on his face.

"Alright guys!" He said. They all turned their faces to him. "Drinks on…" Something drew his attention and struck him speechless. His eyes were wide open as he pointed at his face with some weird motions of his hands. "Y-your face…"

His stuttering was directed towards Valerie, who looked very… different. Her facial scars were all gone, and her sharp features were much clearer. She looked ten years younger, in fact, she looked like someone who had just come out of her teenage years. She was stunningly beautiful.  
She rolled her eyes with a coy smile on her face.

"Damn… you look really... different and wonderful." James said breathlessly.

"That's exactly what I told her." Shepard said, smirking.

"Shepard told me that machine was magical… but now that I see the results, I do believe her." Valerie smiled coyly.

James caught himself staring at her and quickly turned away.

* * *

After a few chats about the mission, almost everybody went back to their rooms, preparing for a little celebration when they get back to the Citadel. Valerie approached James, who was sitting on his bench. She had a question that she wanted to ask James about, but she waited until everybody was gone.

"I've been wondering… since you guys have such a thing, why don't you use it?" She asked.

"Oh-ho no! I LOVE my scars… they make me look cool." James grinned and ran a finger across the scars on his cheek and nose.

"True. Yours are certainly attractive, but mi…" Valerie trailed off once she realized what she had just said.

James' cocky smile grew wider and he spoke in a flirty way, "You think I'm attractive, huh?"

"I… I... didn't—I—I—meant…" Stuttering, she buried her face in her hands while James burst out laughing.

'No, no, no! What's wrong with me? Did the surgery affect my brain or what?' Her subconscious yelled at her.

She couldn't believe that she said that out loud; she usually thought before talking. James was a really nice man, friendly, with a great sense of humor. He had a certain handsome badass look on him that she admired. But was she really attracted to him?

In fact, a part of her was. Her mind suddenly snapped at her. It was impossible, and completely foolish. Even if she really liked him and acted on her feelings, there was no way for James to feel the same about her. She was nothing but a mess, a big terrible mess. Also, this was not the time for relationships, they needed to focus on the war. And if they won the war, and survived, she knew she had to answer for her crimes in the past, and run from Cerberus.  
"It's okay! I know I'm irresistible!" James said through his laughter.

Valerie punched him playfully on the shoulder, "Steve is going to hate me for making your head even bigger than it already is."

"What!?" James still chuckled breathlessly, his cocky grin never leaving his face. "I don't have a big head… well, mostly."

She punched him again, "You, Mr. Vega, are a tease."

* * *

Valerie spent the next day in the mess to pass her time with the rest of the crew, and to avoid the shuttle bay after the slip up with James. She knew, he had probably forgotten but she was still so ashamed.

She was glad she spent some time in the mess, though. She was engaged in a really interesting chat with Garrus, and he was telling her a story about one of his many adventures. She sat on the chair and simply listened to him in awe while drinking a warm cup of coffee. The turian had certainly lived to become a legend.

Unfortunately, their story was cut off by Shepard, who came walking towards them with hurried steps.

"Commander? Are you alright?" The turian asked in worry.

Shepard nodded then turned to Valerie. "Big news!"

"What?"

"We may have found your scientists." Shepard said with a triumphant smile.

Valerie almost spat her drink, her heart pounding hard in her chest, "What!? How?"  
"Traynor picked something up in the communication bursts. We are en route to the base now." Shepard let a wide grin grow on her face. "You want to come with us to pick them up?"

"Hell, yes!" She shouted out, determination clear in her tone.

She had to save them. She had to.


End file.
